my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
