Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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