I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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