Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
