Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
