dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
only you would photoshop your dick
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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