i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
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