he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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