how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
