you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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