2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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