OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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