Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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