return my video game
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
