I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
