The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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