I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
