so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
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He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
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He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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