Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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