ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
