So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize