AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
