Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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