So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Randomize
