Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
