Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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