True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
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I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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