nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
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Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
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One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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