I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
