Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
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