It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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