The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
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