my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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