walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
