Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Boobs speak an international language.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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