You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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