Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Randomize
