Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
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Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I wear drunk well.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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