i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
