I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
