You just made me feel so damn special
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
