your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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