her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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