her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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