on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation