thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!