are you still at the devil's house?
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
