it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
