I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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