I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
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Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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