Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize