Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
