i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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