my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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