i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
