It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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