another moral hangover. fuck.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
