Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
