Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
