she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
